Friday, May 24, 2019

Sean Thomas Runyon, United States


love that deadly sin, my addiction...
So many times in my life I found myself blundering upon those addicted pathways of dissuading , manipulating, torturing my mind until that sovereign ruler of impending doom found It’s ways upon the crevices of my heart and soul.
I was so In love with the idealisms of the way I wish things could’ve been, that I became utterly blind to the realities of what laid before me. My life had Become nothing more than clichés of Projecting my heart of sickness upon another’s.
I worked so diligently at try to fix them ,heal them ,that in the end I did nothing more than prop them up upon the shelves of my codependence that, excessive psychological reliance upon another’s, I forgot how to fix the heart of self,
And within doing so I closed all doors to trust and proper communication, I did not realize that communication is a function of trust it is not technique, and god Picasso I had become at destroying the heart of trust.
yes I became so busy pointing my fingers of righteousness to shame my lover in which leaned upon I put myself in the positions of always being right instead of doing what works.
It seemed that life is much easier that way looking upon them instead of the heart of self.
Making my lovers feel lesser than the persons they were meant to be became my habitual reactions that, did nothing more then fed my ego of anger and, in the end I did nothing more than help destroy the heart of two.
So strange the Epiphany’s we amble upon in this Obscure life of ours these abstruse psychological inquiries that make it difficult to understand the ever changing ambling walk of life; so strange life is to be, But I will say this in my closing...
I think the hardest thing for me or anyone to realize is that somewhere along those lines of self-chosen debauchery those habits, the roads we choose to amble
upon, led us to the point of abortion that failure of love upon the heart of two. We failed to recognize, accept and release the sicknesses in which we dance upon. We failed at taking care of the heart of self and within doing so we helped destroy the heart of two.
I have found that we must be ever so careful of the things we choose to put into our hearts for those Broken deities ,those indelible marks cannot be removed.
I have learned that love is a fickle creature and if you mistreat her she will become guile that cunning malady of addiction she will become The actions of your heart.
so I say from the kindness of my heart Love yourself find peace within your heart Stop speaking for the heart of love and let love speak for you.
Memoirs from a mad mind written
by Sean Thomas Runyon
© 2019 poem and art photography by Sean Thomas Runyon




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